Why Worrying Is Good for You
What if worrying is what you need to push you into action? In this insightful article about overthinking, Taylor John Simmonds suggests just that.
He asks, “What if [thinking] is just you avoiding all the things you already know you need to do?” You see, thinking can give us a nice hit of comfort and certainty because it is psychologically more safe than taking action. Simmonds calls this “thought anesthetic.” It works great as an avoidance mechanism.
And what are we avoiding when we think? According to the author, it’s a specific emotion associated with the action we are avoiding. It could be rejection, embarrassment, fear of failure or something else. Discovering and naming this emotion points to the way out of the overthinking trap.
The next time you are worried about something and retreat into thinking, look at it this way instead: this is my opportunity to practice courage through exposure therapy. Simmonds argues that it is key to break the intimidating things into steps that are “small enough to survive, real enough to matter.” He says,
Don’t finish the newsletter—write one sentence. Don’t master dating—text one person. Pick one small step. Exposure isn’t about pushing yourself into overwhelming situations. It’s about gradually teaching your nervous system that uncertainty is survivable. You did the thing that felt like danger, and you’re still here.
I usually write my own questions to close these letters but Simmonds’ questions are just so good that I’ll leave you with those instead (with one or two minor modifications). This week, I invite you to ask:
What is an area of my life where I might be overthinking? What specific action am I avoiding by overthinking? What am I trying not to feel by overthinking?What am I hoping another hour of thinking will give me?If I stopped overthinking right now, what is the smallest thing I could do in the next hour?
God bless,
Dan
P.S. If you are an overthinker like me, I encourage you to read the full article. Toward that end, I’ll leave you with these inspiring words from the author.
I firmly believe that every overthinker has an ethical responsibility to build courage rather than stay passive. Because on the other side of discomfort you might find the love of your life at a coffee shop. You might start a creative project that changes your career. You might create art that inspires hundreds, thousands, or even millions of people. But more than any of that, you become someone who trusts themselves to act.
