What If I Don’t Stick with My System?

What if you build a good workable system to achieve something, but then you don’t stick with it? In the book The Power of Systems: How to Create a Life That Works, co-author Trevor Timbeck approaches this question by doubling down on a systems approach. 

Suppose your vision is to lose twenty pounds. Your system might be to stick to a diet and exercise daily. Then suppose the time to exercise comes around and you skip your workout. One way we could explain this is to say that we didn’t stick to the system because we didn’t have enough willpower or that we lacked discipline; but, there is another way. What if we didn’t do the workout because we didn’t yet have a system that worked? 

In a chapter titled “What If I Don’t Have Willpower,” Trevor discusses with a fictional client the moment of choice—when they decided not to go with their system: 

Client: Hmm…Okay, say more. I didn’t realize this was a system. 

Trevor: Me either, for most of my life. Until I started looking at everything as a system. Then what I say was that my previous system was to go with my thinking. Or sometimes I would say it was my feelings, and I would say, “I didn’t feel like doing it,” or “I felt that I should do this other more important thing.” Then someone woke me up to the fact that if “I feel” is followed by “that” or “like,” then it is really a thought, not a feeling. No one has ever had the “feeling” of not wanting to do something. There is definitely a feeling in the body, but it is a thought that says that the feeling means, “I don’t want to do it.” 

So I slowly started to realize that my system was to go with my thinking…[and] I saw that there was a new approach I could use. I could go with my systems instead of my thinking. 

Then Trevor advises that we use another system along with this one: the system of practice. We practice going with our systems instead of our thoughts or our feelings, and we keep adjusting the system until we find one that works. 

Before reading this section, I would occasionally end my showers with what is known as a “James Bond Shower” (gradually turning the water cold at the end). Often, I would rationalize why I shouldn’t do it and just skip. Now this moment of decision has become my occasion to practice going with my systems instead of my thoughts or feelings. I’m pleased to say that this has worked very well!

Another example is how I’ve altered the system around my moment of decision to stick with my work commitments: I am on the hook with a friend for $20 if I break any one of three commitments around my work. I’ve also booked co-working times with friends and colleagues to make it easier for me to keep these commitments, because I noticed that I very rarely miss meetings and that I enjoy working with people.

This week, I invite you to practice going with your systems: 

What is an area of growth for me? What is my vision—the end result—around this area? What is my current system for achieving this vision? How well do I stick with this system? If it is less than 100%, what could I change in the system around my moment of decision that would help me stick with it? 

God bless,
Dan