Staying with “No”

Most people treat “no” as the end of a conversation, but Jia Jiang invites us to view it as a beginning. During his experiment titled “100 Days of Rejection,” he learned much from sticking around after initial denials of his unusual requests. 

In one memorable episode, he asked if he could do the safety announcement on a Southwest flight. At first, he was turned down but because he was willing to stay curious, he learned that the flight attendant was just following the law. Passengers were legally required to be seated during the security announcement. In a surprising twist, the attendant offered for Jia to make the welcome announcement instead. Although he was surprised and nervous, Jia went for it. 

In his book Rejection Proof, Jia Jiang argues that there is much to be gained from staying calm and turning a denial into a dialogue. He suggests asking questions like, “Can I ask why?” or “What would it take for this to be possible?” or “Is there anything similar to my request that you could say yes to?” People often say “no” out of habit and when you ask a question, they often reconsider. You also have a chance to gain useful feedback and to grow in confidence. 

This week, I invite you to ask:

Up until now, how have I reacted to “no?” What would change for me if I became a pro at slowing down and staying with “no?” 

God bless,
Dan